on February 16, 1980, my still little darling treated in mother's belly, silent. each people have “the amniotic fluid complex”, in subconscious always has is converted the impulsion which the parent substance, cannot awake peacefully. But, who is willing to arrive at this painstakingly difficult worlds? Who can be separated from this world to live? Caesarean birth - - to avoid to the embryo the influence, mother has not used the anaesthetic, with rips the heart check lung's ache, makes sacrifice which I am born. A knife gets down, embryo sound weak me, hauls in the world. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 watched childhood's picture, fat, as soon as smiled two dimples; Is in sharp contrast big eye, look limpid like water. Sighs, thought: The childhood is a how happy matter. our family lived at that time in a single-unit apartment house small house. I believed that the baby has the memory. Many matters, pass through but do not dissipate, but is dormant in the life deep place, after the growth, because of an accidental lucky chance's appearance, but will well up. remembered that on the wall is hanging a picture, is two cats in vain. I lie down every day on the bed, has awaked, stares, looks at them for a long time. time “is small to you said that `telephones ', you are being crooked the head, places nearby the ear ...... daddy recalls me to be small frequently the appearance time the hand”, before this I deaf detail, the impression which stays behind to me is especially profound. after grows up a spot, doesn't stop presses them, I is how deaf. is very strange I to remember that Bai Mao the drawing, is actually unable to recall to mind that field to change my life destiny the high fever. daddy in the army service, mother a person led me at that time in Xiangfan; Unmarried difficult it can be imagined. At that time I also less than three years old. the high fever continues not to draw back, mother hugs me to go to the hospital to see a doctor. The hospital leaves home to be too far, mother the medicine taking the goods home, invites the factory medical office doctor for my regular injection. card that mildew element. This was one kind has created lifelong the unfortunate ear poisonous kind of medicine for millions of person, the allergic physique, with a spot, will present the obvious hearing drop. neglects duty doctor, will be originally supposed to inject half the liquid medicines to pour into my in vivo completely. Turned looks for past medical record, finds record which the hearing one dropped step by step. Kindergarten teacher said that my slow reaction, calls, but should not. The parents said that I once earth-shaking vomited, am agitated restlessly, in one day of night throat creak a sound, hereafter my sound coarsened many. the sound, is far away gradually. the sound, has not been far away. The parents chose and matched the hearing aid for me. The fact proved that this action will be causes me to return to the mainstream society in the future the key. Makes such choice in that age, needs the courage, also needs the money, the time and the energy. How have I learned the speech? The childhood memory has been slurred. what I knew, the parents are most laborious, for I can live equally with other child, they pay are too many. the same age child has the perfect hearing, grows naturally in the language environment. But builds the language environment, regarding me, must be much more difficult. The parents must draw close to my ear, yells loudly; Even if after buying the hearing aid, the domestically produced hearing aid inferior effect also causes the sound which I hear ambiguous obscure. what the impression is deep is with the family in that big radio cassette player, with a magnetic tape place parrot school. The radio announcer said one, mother is redundant, I said one again. The small age enables me to have too many impatience to this kind of study, time are many, the sound is getting more and more low, worn out, mother reminded, shouts loud again several. my pronunciation is at that time nonstandard. The standard spoken Chinese said very much inferiorly. “the vegetable” and “too” two characters distinguish clearly with difficulty throughout. Did not remember how the parents were accompany me to pass this each one difficulty. But I knew that sends a sound, must pass through a lot of time surely redundant. until on middle school's time, my standard spoken Chinese was not still good, the sound is very thick, has not mastered the correct pronunciation method completely. But trains has been carrying on. I like at home reading aloud, oneself give itself to record. To two third-grade time, my pronunciation only then with normal person completely not different, even compared to many normal person clear standards. Lacks the sound the childhood is monotonous. Before going to school, I not the experience which associates with the same age child. The grandmother at home teaches me to be literate, to write, paints pictures. She said that I am very intelligent. Regarding a child, the commendation is what kind important. Entire family's commendation, caused me to regard the study the pleasure, even more poured into the mental effort development. 6th birthday eve, on me elementary school. The family becomes the my second classroom. When the deaf child's tutor, is troublesome and is laborious. But my parents have withstood all these. On the junior middle school, this teaching way was still continuing. In my diary each has daddy red pen's reviewing, language teacher more than once, praises my parents in all personnel. Until on Fine Arts Institute attached middle school, the parents have instructed incapable, only then drops to let me wrestle. I understood the parents deeply, in I grow the pain. They are the very ordinary very simple people. Many time stodger's pains not necessarily have the harvest, but I am very gratified, I let them see has not been perfect undeniably actually outstanding. I am their self-satisfied work. But has a point they to be unable to change. I have been a resolute strong child, the objective destiny makes to cause to so, remembered gets up elementary school's time, I sit motionlessly in the classroom, the atmosphere does not dare, even if is today in the teachers and students relations harmonious campus, I also similarly harbor one fear to teacher this noun. at home, the parents in every possible way protect to me, the love has Canada. In front of them I forever am a willful not sensible child. But in the outside world, I apprehensive did not know, therefore. The speech can blush in front of the stranger; Swallows an insult facing the malicious insult; Reporter interviews, I hide timidly in the parents after death. inside and outside to the concurrently disposition, causes me at little not to suffer a loss with in others' contact. When elementary school and junior middle school the memory is deepest, is not the sack sack honorary certificate pride, but comes from not the sensible schoolmate's ridicule and insults lightly. I study diligently, wants to use the result to prove that I am a good student, however their response causes me to be disappointed. The small age, learned to hate, but after growing up, was also unable to get over an emotion, because time childhood threw down the shadow was unable to fade from the memory.